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Good evening!
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Welcome... My name is Bill Bailey
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welcome to the
'Remarkable Guide to the Orchestra'
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and Welcome to 'Albert Hall'
Marvelous... What a marvelous venue it is!
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It was built by Victorians originally as a giraffe house,
I don't know if you knew that
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Those boxes were originally stuffed with hay!
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And now, stuffed with
the lucky members of the HSBC
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Tonight's show is a celabration
of the orchestra in all its forms
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The majesty, the beauty, the power and the delicacy
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And I can't think of no finer ensemble
to assist me in this task
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than the supremely versatile, and strangely attractive
'BBC Concert Orchestra'!
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And tonight, wielding the tiny
white stick of unimaginable power
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an all around musical maestro, Oscar winner,
musician extraordinaire - the wonderdul Anne Dudley!
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When I was a kid, I was taken
to see a classical concert.
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I was mesmerized by the sounds. I was in trance,
I was taken on a sonic journey
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And I didn't know which instruments made which noise
or how the music was created
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Sometimes, the music made me think I was
rushing through a forest...
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And then, bursting through the foliage, and emerging...
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On a mountain top!
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But then I entered a strange dream
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Some kind of psychedelic experience,
when I was transported to a building...
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I walked into the building, and in the dream
I entered some doors, some doors opened
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I walked into the light, and I was in...
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A lift!
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Let's start with the flute
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The flute is a magical, playful instrument
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It's got a wonderful, sort of light sound to it
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It conjures up, a memory...
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of a place you may have been to,
or perhaps a place you may never have been to
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A false memory if you will
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A memory implant like they do in
'Blade Runner' [a sci-fi movie]
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And for that reason it strikes me as
being mildly hallucinogenic
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You could be watching a massive iceberg,
coming out of the moonlight or,
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perhaps sitting in an Irish theme pub
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eating a Chicken Comer
with a hurling stick
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In the marvelous musical instruction book, written in 1695,
called 'the sprightly companion'
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which in itself would be a great thing to have,
a sprightly companion!
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To accompany you at all times.
"Hello, you've been down to the dance? Come on!"
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"Let's go for a walk, perhaps waterproof your boots,
I don't know, hold the door open for a lady"
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"Listen to the wireless [radio],
buy a new spirit level. Come on!"
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"Go out west and watch Mamma Mia!"
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Sorry, Some of you may be fans
of 'Mamma mia', I don't know
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I tried to like it,
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for me it was like being smacked
around the head by a piece of Ikea furniture
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It hurts, but you gotta admire the workmanship
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So, in the 'sprightly companion',
the sound of the oboe is described like this:
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Majestical and stately,
and not much inferior to the trumpet!
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Which, if you Google:
"Backhanded oboe compliments"
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That's in the Top 3
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The oboe has a very clear sound
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I's different to the clarinet and the bassoon,
it's not cylindrical it's conical
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which gives a unique "timbre" [sound coloration]
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It has a clear, penetrating voice,
which always sings through a large ensemble
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Rather like a French teacher
on a school trip
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[French] "Gaspard, pousse-toi!"
[English] Gaspard, move over!
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Actually the name 'Oboe' comes from the French
'Haut bois', meaning 'High Wood'
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But for me, it's a uniquely
British sounding instrument
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It has a kind of melancholy plangent air,
redolent of an empire on the wane [losing power]
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Perhabps a walk on a brisk automn evening
through the Yorshire Dales
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Where all the traditional elements
of rural Britain are in place
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A pint of Kronenbourg [beer brand]
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A bowl of nachos [Mexican chips]
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A rural sense of dislocation and despair...
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And four teenagers setting fire
to a Nissan Micra [kind of car]
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The orchestra plays the theme from 'Emmerdale'
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a British soap opera from 1989
named 'Emmerdale Farm'
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Some of you might be thinking:
"Hold on ...
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'Emmerdale' doesn't an oboe in it"
No, that's because, it was dropped from the theme wasn't it?
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And of course was the word 'farm' as well
In 1989
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Now why 1989?
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Across Europe, too many scenes
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The Berlin Wall was torn down
The Velvet Revolution in Prague
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I think it was a response to the collapse of communism
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They dropped 'farm'... too much of an association
with collectivization and soviet oppression
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And the oboe itself, perhaps,
in its conical order, a symbol of the old order
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It had to go.
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Order and symmetry were what characterized
the classical music period
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The term 'Classical music'
is often used incorrectly
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it's used to describe all classical music
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But the actual 'classical music period'
was from about 1730 and 1820
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And during that time the music kinda reflected
the architecture at the time
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Solid, balanced and symmetrical.
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And particularly the Baroque era during that time,
the Oboe music from that era
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Is often used in advertising to
subliminally suggest those characteristics of...
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order, solidity and trustworthiness
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such as you might find, in a bank!
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Now, by contrast, the sinuous and supple
mischievous sound of the clarinet
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should have warned customers
of trouble ahead!
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In this recent ad for
Bradford and Bingley [A failing bank]
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Ha! You thought... we have the money!
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There's 2 instruments I'd like to highlight:
the Bass clarinet and the trombone.
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But the muted Trombone in this case
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Because these 2 instruments
were used very widely to accompany villains,
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TV villain in the 1970s.
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When you see a TV villain, in any 1970's kinda cop show,
when they're going inside, you hear the bass clarinet,
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But when they come out,
it's the muted trombone!
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You'll more likely hear this...
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You see?
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Bassoons have a crucial role
to play in the orchestra,
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because they provide a crucial texture,
fantastic layerings of sounds
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that's hidden within the body
of sound of the orchestra.
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And what I'd like to do now is to play a piece of music,
and we'll strip away the layers of the orchestra
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so you can actually hear
what the bassoon is playing
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We'll start with a bit of
typical Baroque trumpet music
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You can't hear the Bassoon
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Now let's listen to the same piece of music again,
minus the trumpets, just focusing on the woodwind and the strings
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Now let's take away
some more layers,
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and just listen to what the bassoon is
actually playing within the body of the sound
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Yes, you've noticed, the bassoon is actually playing:
'How Deep Is Your Love' by the 'Bee Gees' [Disco song]
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Bassoon players are actually
obsessed by the Bee Gees
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and for many years they've been secretly
incorporating them in classical works
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Now we've started,
there's very little we can do about it,
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We just have to go with the flow,
the bassoons have taken control
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Go bassoons!
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They're just crazy!
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Orchestras have often been used
to conjure up the natural world
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Swans, sharks, trout...
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But not, as far as I know,
the much melined jellyfish
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Never gets much of a look
in the parol, the jellyfish
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And for this I'm gonna demonstrate this
instrument which is called a 'theremin'
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Some of you may be familiar with this,
This is an electronic instrument
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It was invented by a Russian radio engineer
called Leon Theremin in 1919
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Purely by accident. He was actually working
on a motion detector piece of equipment
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Basically an alarm
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So as you go pass it...
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You know someone is trying to steal it,
that's quite handy!
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I'll put it on the car
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"Hey, wait a minute!"
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They'd be useless like that,
But with control,
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you can play actual tunes on it
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This controls the volume,
I put my hand in here
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And this controls the pitch, so if I take
my hand out here, this increases the volume
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And if I move my hand here,
you get the difference in pitch
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You can lick it
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arm, knee...
pretty much anything really!
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Small animal...
but they have to stay very still
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So I've got a little but of
Theremin in this piece of music
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I have to hold the first note in my head,
So I ask the leader of the orchestra,
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Charles, could you give me
an F sharp, please?
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There we go. I'll just hold my hand in
that position for the next couple of hours...
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Ok this is it:
the Jellyfish.
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Orchestras used to be in house
musicians for radio stations
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And in the 1920s there was
a composer called David Rose,
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who was the in house composer for the
'Mutual Broadcasting Network' in America
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and it was in the late 20s
He was working for this orchestra,
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and of course, at that time was
the time of the stock market crash,
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banks were collapsing around the world,
Imagine that happening now!
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And because of the cut backs, he was asked to
compose a piece of music just for the strings
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because the money ran out,
that's all they could afford
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So we're gonna focus now on the strings,
and this piece of music is played in the 'pizzicato'
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or the "plucked style". There's not
even any bows, they couldn' afford bows!
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This is called 'Holidays for strings'
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Not actually much of a holiday
for them really, to be honest
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Lovely, isn't it?
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Wonderful
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David Rose wrote another very famous
piece of music called 'the stripper'
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and, by the time he got to write that the cut backs
were so severe, all he could afford was a xylophone
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Don't encourage him!
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I'd like to take this opportumity to
talk to you about a much meline musical form
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and that is of course
'Cockney music'.
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As you all know 'cockney music' has influenced
classical music for many centuries...
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and I'd like to 'shine a light'
on that, if I may
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There's certain leitmotifs [theme]
which recur in 'cockney music'
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There's of course the
'basic cockney intro'
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And this can be found in
Beethoven's 'Moonlight Sonata'
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You've probably heard it loads of times,
but you never noticed
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Quite a lot of winking
in cockney music...
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Wait for it, wait for it...
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There it is, the 'basic cockney intro'
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You can't here the trombone
and not smile, I think
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It just brings a sense of well-being,
'the bringer of joy', I call it
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And this is not a well-known fact, but
on planes they always carry a trombone,
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just in case there's a disaster
and they need to keep morale up
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All cabin crew, fully
proficient in the trombone
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And of course there's another use:
if you ditch at sea, it can be used as a snorkel
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Trombones, they're like the jolly
uncles of the orchestra, aren't they?
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They're wonderful! There's no valves or keys, they can slide...
there's a kind of lusciousness about them,
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A slight air of danger...
Like a rather lairy uncle at a Christmas party
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And for that reason, the trombone has
the greatest affinity with cockney music
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They're kind of the rebels of the brass
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To demonstrate it, I'd like to play, obviously,
the finale of Rossini's 'William Tell' overture,
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William Tell himself was a bit of a rebel!
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Was he a Swiss nationalist,
or a nutter with a crossbow? I don't know!
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And Rossini of course was a 'Pearly King'
It's not very well-known
[charity where people wear pearl buttons all over their clothes]
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So here it is, the 'William Tell' overture,
in its original cockney arrangement
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Have a banana!
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I'm a massive fan of 1970s
American cop show themes
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Are you?
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They're fantastic!
They're just so cool!
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It was a fantastic era for soundtracks
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It was when soundtracks changed, they started to adapt,
orchestras started to get 'the Groove on'
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They started to count it off
"Can I do it?... 1, 2, 3, 4!..."
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They started to incorporate electric keyboards,
drums kits, electric guitars...
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And what I love about them is that
they're quite litteral
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You knew exactly who the good guy were
and who were the bad guys, just by the chord
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The good guys got a perfect fifth...
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Strong, compassionate...
the bad guys got an augmented fourth
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You knew exactly where you were
Just a semitone,
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But sometimes in life, if you make
the wrong choices, it's just a semitone out!
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We'll start with a typical scene,
Our heroes, cruising around the town
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Perfect fifth
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They've been told about a new spill
of burglaries, a marchbook gang
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A slight hint of menace to come
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Straght away, we cut to the villains...
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We know they're villains,
because of the augmented fourth
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and the congas, you know...
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They're swarthy, leather clad
They bear us ill will
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They turn up outside a warehouse down by the docks,
They get out, get the keys and go inside
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Meanwhile, our heroes are still cruising around
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"So tell me about this matchbook gang"
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00:29:49,539 --> 00:29:52,934
"Well, they scam, they do a burglary,
and they leave a matchbook,
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tauting the police"
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00:29:53,936 --> 00:29:58,438
"Ah, I see"
They're taking all this is, driving up the main street,
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Passes all the old shops,
even pass the agricultural supply shop
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00:30:15,293 --> 00:30:17,875
The radio crackle
"What's this?"
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00:30:19,836 --> 00:30:21,402
"We got a call!"
217
00:30:27,172 --> 00:30:29,846
They're drinving now in a funky way...
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00:30:37,166 --> 00:30:40,500
- "They got a 147"
- "A 147? What's that?"
219
00:30:41,250 --> 00:30:45,455
"It's a suspicious malfeasance down at the docks"
220
00:30:47,080 --> 00:30:50,654
They turn up there, the door is broken down
221
00:30:53,362 --> 00:30:56,830
There's body lying there,
some blood, a matchbook
222
00:30:57,818 --> 00:31:00,849
"What does all this mean?"
223
00:31:02,514 --> 00:31:04,904
And then we go to a commercial break.
224
00:31:14,272 --> 00:31:17,830
The next day, establishing
shot at the police station
225
00:31:20,241 --> 00:31:23,753
Establishing shot of the main reception
226
00:31:23,754 --> 00:31:26,001
Establisher of the stairs
227
00:31:26,002 --> 00:31:29,374
The double stairs around the corridor
228
00:31:29,376 --> 00:31:33,038
Now we're in the chief's office,
and he's angry!
229
00:31:33,039 --> 00:31:37,128
"How could you've lost them? My ass is in a sling,
the department is lightning a fire under my ass"
230
00:31:37,129 --> 00:31:41,069
One of the cops cracks wise [jokes]:
"Well that will burn the sling away! Haha"
231
00:31:41,070 --> 00:31:43,557
Chief's not happy... "Get out!"
232
00:31:43,558 --> 00:31:46,613
"Get out and find the matchbook gang!"
233
00:31:46,614 --> 00:31:49,553
Down at the plastics factory,
the heist is on
234
00:31:49,554 --> 00:31:53,396
The villains, balaclavas [ski masks],
leather, they mean business!
235
00:31:53,397 --> 00:31:57,235
The security guard, he's tied up,
he's groggy, he's been knocked out
236
00:31:57,236 --> 00:32:03,195
He starts to come around, he sees the villains,
he's reaching for his gun...
237
00:32:03,196 --> 00:32:06,361
He tries to grab one of them,
there's a bit of a struggle
238
00:32:12,003 --> 00:32:13,851
They knock him out cold.
239
00:32:15,628 --> 00:32:18,176
"Get the Tupperware into the escape vehicle!
Quickly!"
240
00:32:19,379 --> 00:32:24,467
One of the villains starts taking the lids off, and putting
the lids on one side, and the boxes on the other side
241
00:32:24,468 --> 00:32:31,515
- "What are you doing, what the hell are you doing?"
- "Well, that way we'll be able to get more in... we stack them..."
242
00:32:31,516 --> 00:32:34,036
"The cops will be here any minute,
there's no time for stacking! "
243
00:32:34,037 --> 00:32:36,556
"I'm juste saying, that'd be neater"
244
00:32:39,315 --> 00:32:43,062
The security guard rears up,
they just knock him out again
245
00:32:43,771 --> 00:32:46,261
"Quick! Get the stuff in the van!"
They close the doors...
246
00:32:46,262 --> 00:32:49,640
and they're gone, like Keyser Soze
247
00:32:50,471 --> 00:32:54,350
The cops, appear on the scene
looking for clues
248
00:32:54,351 --> 00:32:58,841
There's a bit of Tupperware, few beakers
"What's going on here?"
249
00:32:58,842 --> 00:33:01,836
- "What's that noise?"
- "It's the security guard, he starts to come around"
250
00:33:01,837 --> 00:33:03,870
"Ask him a question!"
251
00:33:05,269 --> 00:33:07,531
No, he's out cold
252
00:33:08,563 --> 00:33:12,809
They look at him, they find a matchbook:
"Meet me here after the robbery": Must be a clue!
253
00:33:12,844 --> 00:33:16,782
- "What's the name of the place?"
- "It's the Cuban themed gangster hideout!"
254
00:33:16,783 --> 00:33:19,211
"Cohiba!" [cigar brand]
255
00:33:31,761 --> 00:33:33,188
They get on the trail!
256
00:33:37,507 --> 00:33:39,475
We come back to the bar!
257
00:33:47,085 --> 00:33:48,914
The chase is on!
258
00:33:50,940 --> 00:33:52,718
To the streets,
"How about that alley?"
259
00:33:55,209 --> 00:33:57,479
They're heading for the old fruit market
260
00:33:59,517 --> 00:34:03,487
There's a huge handcart of satsumas! [mandarin oranges]
"Look out!"
261
00:34:03,488 --> 00:34:05,067
That's going all over!
262
00:34:12,209 --> 00:34:15,752
They're closing in on the villains,
they're shooting! Bang, bang!
263
00:34:16,419 --> 00:34:18,031
One cop is hit in the arm!
264
00:34:18,032 --> 00:34:22,663
He's bleeding, the car's going over,
they shoot the villains' car
265
00:34:23,021 --> 00:34:26,058
It explodes spectacularly into flames!
266
00:34:31,079 --> 00:34:34,738
Establishing shot of the hospital
267
00:34:34,739 --> 00:34:39,389
The cop is leaning up in bed.
The chief comes around with a box of cigars
268
00:34:39,390 --> 00:34:42,862
Chucks them over, they look at he label...
269
00:34:47,563 --> 00:34:49,863
Cohiba!
270
00:34:55,131 --> 00:34:56,614
Thank you!
271
00:35:06,562 --> 00:35:10,710
American composers do TV themes
fantastically well
272
00:35:10,711 --> 00:35:12,887
And news themes as well!
273
00:35:12,888 --> 00:35:18,169
This next piece of music is
the NBC nightly news theme called 'The Mission'
274
00:35:18,170 --> 00:35:24,735
It was written by John Williams,
who's written scores of blockbusters
275
00:35:24,736 --> 00:35:30,209
Music for Star Wars, Indiana Jones...
This music is a news theme,
276
00:35:30,210 --> 00:35:32,645
but it sounds like pure Hollywood entertainment
277
00:35:32,646 --> 00:35:36,971
It sounds like ET on a horse
being chased by Darth Vader
278
00:35:39,038 --> 00:35:41,080
Which is something I'd love to see
279
00:35:41,081 --> 00:35:46,520
John Williams is credited as really
resurecting the whole notion of a Soundtrack
280
00:35:46,521 --> 00:35:49,547
for popular entertainment.
He's made them very 'audience-accessible'
281
00:35:49,548 --> 00:35:52,947
and he's also resurected the notion
of the 'leitmotif' [recurring melody]
282
00:35:52,948 --> 00:35:55,595
which Wagner was the main exponent of
283
00:35:55,596 --> 00:36:00,696
In the news theme, there's
the question and answer leitmotif
284
00:36:00,697 --> 00:36:03,830
You have the fanfare at the beginning
285
00:36:05,866 --> 00:36:09,980
Which is very declamatory
and then you got the question-theme
286
00:36:12,405 --> 00:36:13,867
And the answer...
287
00:36:15,556 --> 00:36:19,015
We hear all that and,
it's such a sweeping score,
288
00:36:19,016 --> 00:36:22,728
I may be compelled to sing during it at some point,
But I might have to hold back
289
00:36:22,729 --> 00:36:25,530
Anyway, here it, this is 'the Mission'
290
00:36:29,017 --> 00:36:31,357
Urgent strings: "Here's the news!"
291
00:36:33,862 --> 00:36:35,046
There's the fanfare
292
00:36:35,047 --> 00:36:40,694
Which seems to say,
"Pay attention, the news is on!"
293
00:37:17,242 --> 00:37:22,925
What great and tragic events
unfold in the world today?
294
00:37:22,926 --> 00:37:25,472
"We'll tell you in a minute"
295
00:37:25,473 --> 00:37:31,058
What great sporting victories
can you tell us now?
296
00:37:31,059 --> 00:37:33,201
"It's all there on the webstite!"
297
00:37:33,202 --> 00:37:38,834
What tales of magical places
happening far away?
298
00:37:38,835 --> 00:37:41,004
"You really should get out more"
299
00:37:41,005 --> 00:37:48,024
Tell us, tell us the news!
Of Christrians, Muslims and Jews!
300
00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:54,455
Always well-balanced views, on the news!
301
00:38:07,995 --> 00:38:10,493
Mission accomplished
302
00:38:14,255 --> 00:38:18,024
Our news themes have become very serious,
but they didn't use to be
303
00:38:18,059 --> 00:38:25,923
This next piece of music was actually
the news theme for 'ITN' news between 1959 and 1982
304
00:38:25,924 --> 00:38:31,444
and it's so relentlessly jolly,
the news must've been much nicer then!
305
00:38:31,445 --> 00:38:33,804
It must have been a nicer time, all around
306
00:38:33,805 --> 00:38:38,431
Because you can't imagine listening to this theme,
and hearing the headlines of today, it just wouldn't work!
307
00:38:38,432 --> 00:38:41,251
This is a marvelous piece of music,
it's called 'Nonstop'
308
00:38:58,059 --> 00:39:01,689
"A massive car bomb exploded in Baghdad today"
309
00:39:09,529 --> 00:39:12,843
"Kyrgyzstan has gone nuclear"
310
00:39:23,159 --> 00:39:29,955
"Bird flu is affecting all of us,
it looks like we'll all be dead in 3 years!"
311
00:39:38,034 --> 00:39:42,637
"The entire system of money has collapsed.
312
00:39:42,638 --> 00:39:48,696
Governments warned of a return to a
shiny bead-based bargaining system"
313
00:39:57,430 --> 00:40:00,873
"America has began bombing Iran!
314
00:40:01,065 --> 00:40:03,960
Third World War is imminent!"
315
00:40:06,025 --> 00:40:09,943
"We're all going to die!"
316
00:40:27,654 --> 00:40:33,330
I'm a massive fan of science-fiction
programs and their themes
317
00:40:33,331 --> 00:40:37,000
And I'm a lifelong fan of 'Doctor Who'
[BBC sci-fi TV show from 1963 to 1989]
318
00:40:37,052 --> 00:40:40,058
Which is marvelous isn't it?
It's a wonderful theme... terrifying
319
00:40:40,059 --> 00:40:43,061
I remember as a child
I was terrified by it
320
00:40:47,755 --> 00:40:50,253
It just strikes fear into your very soul!
321
00:40:50,254 --> 00:40:52,833
But when you listen to the chords...
322
00:40:53,999 --> 00:40:57,882
And you slow them down,
it actually sounds a bit more like Belgian jazz
323
00:40:57,883 --> 00:41:00,871
More like a Jacques Brel song
324
00:41:42,428 --> 00:41:44,583
[French] C'est lui,
[English] It's him,
325
00:41:45,284 --> 00:41:47,985
[French] Docteur Qui
[English] Doctor Who
326
00:41:53,171 --> 00:41:56,022
[French] il voyage dans le TARDIS
[English] He travels in the TARDIS
327
00:41:56,023 --> 00:42:01,178
[French] la boite de telephone fantastique de l'espace
[English] The awesome space phone booth
328
00:42:03,533 --> 00:42:08,876
[French] l'interieur est beaucoup plus grand que l'exterieur
[English] The inside is much bigger than the outside
329
00:42:08,895 --> 00:42:12,973
[English] And that's the mystery of Doctor Who
[English] And that's the mystery of Doctor Who
330
00:42:26,007 --> 00:42:31,488
[English] The leader of the Daleks is called Devros
[English] The commander of the Daleks is called Devros
331
00:42:32,763 --> 00:42:37,278
[English] He wants to control the universe, and everyone
[English] He wants to conquer the entire universe, and everything
332
00:42:37,279 --> 00:42:41,107
[English] But he never controls the universe
[English] But he never controls it
333
00:42:43,063 --> 00:42:48,667
[English] With the Daleks the Doctor is superior
[English] With the Daleks the doctor wins
334
00:42:48,668 --> 00:42:50,792
[English] He laughs
[English] He laughs
335
00:42:51,156 --> 00:42:55,636
[French] “I am Doctor Who”
[English] "I'm Doctor Who"
336
00:43:07,024 --> 00:43:14,005
[English] Daleks can't climb the stairs,
it's a tragedy for the Daleks
[English] Daleks can't climb the stairs, It's their weakness
337
00:43:16,553 --> 00:43:20,286
[French] “Damn then!”
[English] “Damn!”
338
00:43:25,976 --> 00:43:29,323
[English] Exterminate yourself
[English] Exterminate!
339
00:43:29,708 --> 00:43:31,326
[French] Exterminez-vous
[English] Exterminate!
340
00:43:33,425 --> 00:43:35,113
[French] Exterminez-vous
[English] Exterminate!
341
00:43:35,861 --> 00:43:43,136
[French] Non, tu ne peux pas, parce que je suis Docteur Qui
[English] No, it will fail, because I'm Doctor Who
342
00:43:56,228 --> 00:44:01,054
That is an example of a fantastic TV theme.
Some of them, not so great...
343
00:44:01,055 --> 00:44:04,916
[Theme from 'Eastenders': a British soap opera]
344
00:44:05,026 --> 00:44:07,172
I's not great, is it?
It sounds like:
345
00:44:07,173 --> 00:44:13,770
"Everyone is going to die,
we're all gonna die, in a variety of different ways"
346
00:44:14,697 --> 00:44:16,392
There's nothing there, is it?
I's just:
347
00:44:18,833 --> 00:44:20,767
It just lands on that "F"
348
00:44:20,768 --> 00:44:25,018
"Any chance of a little bit of harmonic structure,
to liven up the 'Eastenders'? "
349
00:44:25,019 --> 00:44:26,832
"Nope."
350
00:44:27,988 --> 00:44:34,736
It sounds like a barrel load of cold porridge being
wheeled up a plank and dumped into a skip, isn't it?
351
00:44:43,514 --> 00:44:46,756
And the thing is, there's great drama in 'Eastenders'
352
00:44:46,757 --> 00:44:49,665
People leaving,
this great romance,
353
00:44:49,666 --> 00:44:51,864
And the music, it's just not up to it.
354
00:44:51,865 --> 00:44:58,039
So I think that when someone leaves ..."IE" they're
getting written out to appear in a musical or something
355
00:44:58,040 --> 00:45:02,295
But even then, there's great drama,
and I think it would benefit
356
00:45:02,296 --> 00:45:07,534
from the richness and the mystery
of orchestral music
357
00:45:14,742 --> 00:45:16,947
"I got something to tell you"
358
00:45:21,821 --> 00:45:23,406
"What?"
359
00:45:23,407 --> 00:45:28,202
- "I'm leaving"
- "I thought you were just packing for your holidays"
360
00:45:28,203 --> 00:45:31,709
- "No."
- "I thought you were going to Magaluf" [holiday resort in Spain]
361
00:45:31,710 --> 00:45:35,891
- "No, I'm leaving"
- "Leaving Walford?"
362
00:45:35,892 --> 00:45:38,373
"Yeah, I'm leaving Walford"
363
00:45:38,374 --> 00:45:43,073
"But what about the Vick, the laundry,
that parc pit in the middle? "
364
00:45:43,074 --> 00:45:46,533
"There's nothing left for me here"
365
00:45:46,568 --> 00:45:50,993
"Where would you go? Where would you go?"
366
00:45:54,242 --> 00:45:57,361
"Norwich"
[city in Norfolk, east England]
367
00:45:57,904 --> 00:46:02,852
- "Norwich?"
- "Yeah, gonna stay with my brother"
368
00:46:04,726 --> 00:46:10,516
- "What about all the things we had together"
- "Nah, there's nothing left for me now"
369
00:46:11,267 --> 00:46:13,044
"The cab's here"
370
00:46:13,340 --> 00:46:15,780
- "You better go"
- "Yeah"
371
00:46:15,781 --> 00:46:18,400
"I love you, will you write?"
372
00:46:18,401 --> 00:46:22,482
"Yeah I'll probably text you when I get there,
if I get a signal"
373
00:46:23,939 --> 00:46:26,397
- "Bye."
- "Bye"
374
00:46:27,584 --> 00:46:31,889
He gets in the cab, the door closes
375
00:46:33,859 --> 00:46:40,391
And the cab is gone. Taking one last sweep
pass all the places he's ever known
376
00:46:40,392 --> 00:46:44,208
The minicab office,
the chip shop, the market...
377
00:46:45,804 --> 00:46:49,615
She waves, He doesn't.
He doesn't look back.
378
00:46:49,616 --> 00:46:54,815
His heart is settled, on a new life,
A world of possibility
379
00:46:54,816 --> 00:46:58,006
Perhaps even a part in a touring production of Mamma Mia
380
00:46:58,007 --> 00:46:59,682
Gone...
381
00:46:59,683 --> 00:47:04,480
Gone to Norwich
382
00:47:14,657 --> 00:47:17,226
Thank you, thank you very much
383
00:47:17,261 --> 00:47:22,923
Let's welcome the Alpine roadies
with the tuned Alpine cowbells
384
00:47:26,102 --> 00:47:28,563
[German] Danke, Danke schoen
[English] Thanks, Thank you
385
00:47:28,564 --> 00:47:34,626
These are actual cowbells which are
tuned to the chromatic scale
386
00:47:34,627 --> 00:47:38,407
And played in all Alpine festivals
387
00:47:38,408 --> 00:47:42,920
Just a bit of a ceremony,
we have to go through before
388
00:47:46,181 --> 00:47:52,685
Respect for the Swiss flag
is always minutely observed
389
00:47:59,222 --> 00:48:03,472
And we're going to attempt to play
'The Swan' from the 'Carnival of the Animals',
390
00:48:03,473 --> 00:48:10,492
on the tuned Alpine bells. I can't do it myself. For this,
I'm gonna need the assistance of the magnificent rhythm section
391
00:48:10,493 --> 00:48:14,068
who will accompany me on the bells
392
00:48:18,383 --> 00:48:19,905
Thank you very much
393
00:48:20,738 --> 00:48:26,258
They're all laid out in tune here,
they're played just by shaking, like this
394
00:48:26,259 --> 00:48:29,323
This one, the 'G', sounds exactly like a phone
395
00:48:29,358 --> 00:48:33,873
So don't worry, it's not your phone
going off, it's actually the bell
396
00:48:33,874 --> 00:48:37,850
I think we're ready,
Anne, if you'd like to start
397
00:48:41,910 --> 00:48:43,492
Only joking
398
00:49:01,836 --> 00:49:03,152
This time
399
00:52:02,634 --> 00:52:03,860
Thank you!
400
00:52:05,281 --> 00:52:07,052
The rhythm section!
401
00:52:12,019 --> 00:52:14,158
Thanks a lot, lovely work!
402
00:52:19,837 --> 00:52:24,392
It's always been my long held belief that
eventually, insects will take over the world
403
00:52:25,814 --> 00:52:29,421
So, this is what I'd like to call 'Insect Nation'
404
00:52:39,083 --> 00:52:44,036
At the beginning of the 21st century,
It seemed impossible to believe,
405
00:52:44,037 --> 00:52:50,851
that the greatest threat to our planet,
would not be from the Aliens, but from the insects
406
00:52:51,521 --> 00:52:55,563
Tiny creatures,
who we had ignored for centuries
407
00:52:55,564 --> 00:53:02,104
And that indifference had festered amongst them,
and rankled like an unreplaced gley plug-in
408
00:53:03,070 --> 00:53:06,155
And the seeds of hatred was sown
409
00:53:06,626 --> 00:53:09,257
"Get away from the picnic!" We would say,
"Get away from the picnic!"
410
00:53:09,258 --> 00:53:13,032
"Squash it, kill it!"
We squashed and killed,
411
00:53:13,033 --> 00:53:18,890
But more came to replace them... tenfold,
a hundred, a thousand, a million fold...
412
00:53:21,033 --> 00:53:24,230
Tiny eyes watched us: The ant on the Hummus
[food from Egypt/Middle East]
413
00:53:24,231 --> 00:53:27,960
The Wasp on the Fanta, the praying mantis
on the Panini [sandwich from Italy]
414
00:53:27,961 --> 00:53:32,969
The Aphid on the 'Pret a Manger no-bread sandwich'
What's the point of that?
415
00:53:33,957 --> 00:53:36,866
It's just a salad, surely
416
00:53:40,701 --> 00:53:48,679
The hatred burnt to the icy chid of revenge,
and slowly they drew their plans against us with a harp
417
00:53:51,468 --> 00:53:57,353
From walls we were watched
by the tiny myriad eyes of flies
418
00:53:58,057 --> 00:54:01,747
Bees disappear from their hives,
and marshaled great forces
419
00:54:01,782 --> 00:54:09,613
They put aside their differences and resolve
to unite against their common human foe [enemy]
420
00:54:10,705 --> 00:54:14,850
They will take back what is rightfully theirs
421
00:54:15,209 --> 00:54:24,378
They will take us and they'll make us...
Human slaves, in an insects nation!
422
00:54:25,891 --> 00:54:29,925
Human slaves, in an insects nation!
423
00:54:31,513 --> 00:54:35,754
Human slaves, in an insects nation!
424
00:54:37,577 --> 00:54:41,828
Human slaves, in an insects nation!
425
00:54:43,230 --> 00:54:49,587
The locust squats upon a leaf, he's just biding his time
426
00:54:49,588 --> 00:54:55,989
The human world that he surveys,
He thinks one day all this will be mine!
427
00:54:56,937 --> 00:55:02,621
The spiders... are not insects,
but in war they'd probably side with the insects
428
00:55:03,034 --> 00:55:06,322
Traitors, traitors, spiders, traitors!
429
00:55:06,323 --> 00:55:14,778
They'll betray us, and they'll make us...
Human slaves, in an insects nation!
430
00:55:16,107 --> 00:55:20,569
Human slaves, in an insects nation!
431
00:55:22,082 --> 00:55:26,333
Human slaves, in an insects nation!
432
00:55:42,464 --> 00:55:47,640
Now, it is the future,
our worst fears are realised
433
00:55:48,156 --> 00:55:55,934
We have ignored the warnings
We have given in to our petty indulgences
434
00:55:55,935 --> 00:55:59,976
We have ignored the doomsayers,
and Al Gore [US politician]
435
00:56:01,983 --> 00:56:09,580
The world is different, a changed world,
we are mere human workers in the empire of the ant
436
00:56:09,581 --> 00:56:13,569
Cold-hearted ants
with revenge in their eyes
437
00:56:13,916 --> 00:56:20,052
Nothing but common workers,
while bees, cavort freely
438
00:56:20,053 --> 00:56:24,923
We collect their honey for them,
we collect nectar for Butterflies
439
00:56:24,924 --> 00:56:31,548
Our world is broken, past,
We're nothing but...
440
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human slaves...
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in an insect nation!
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00:58:04,889 --> 00:58:07,980
Thank you very much! Thank you!
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00:58:16,703 --> 00:58:18,829
Thank you Charles
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Thank you to all of you!
What a fantastic crowd!
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Anne, come
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Thank you very much! This has been the remarkable guide,
Good night, thank you!
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Subz by: Charlie G
Thanks for watching!